Not if you just “don’t like it”, that’s tough, but if your browser, for some reason, is making this all look garbled, or hard to follow, with things in all the wrong place (you’ll know if it’s happening), please comment here. I have changed a few things, mostly size settings, which will cause this blog to display poorly on small screens. You people still at 640 x 480 will be the first to complain. If you’re there, SPEAK UP. If not, well…
THIS POST WILL FLOAT AT THE TOP OF THE LIST FOR ABOUT TWO WEEKS. After that, I will delete it.
This is Chip. [picture of happy little beaver youth]
Chip is a beaver, and like most beavers, he knows the value of hard work. Chip’s Mommmy and Daddy are Republicans, and they worked very hard to build the place where Chip’s family lives. Chip of course, being a child, has no political affiliation. But he knows what makes sense. Before Chip was even born, his Mommy and Daddy went to the woods on the banks of the river, and felled trees by working very hard, for days on end, until the trees could be brought to the right place. [pic: Mommy beaver gnawing on tree, Daddy maneuvering one into place across a narrow spot in the river. Woodpecker looks on approvingly]
Over a long, long time, Chip’s Mommy and Daddy got enough wood to build this house, where the whole beaver family lives, and they maintain the dam which keeps up the pond. Many fish live in the pond, so they are happy the dam is there. Other animals eat the fish, and they are also happy that the dam is there. This is the way nature works, and sometimes, one kind of animal will eat another in order to survive. Usually, there are no hard feelings. [picture of a fish grinning, in the mouth of a bear, which is lumbering past the dam with the lodge in the background. Chip looks on from the safety of the lodge].
When dangerous animals come to the pond, the Republican beavers warn the other animals by slapping the surface of the pond with their big flat tails. SMACK! Republicans are simply better equipped to deal with issues of security. [picture of unsavory-looking badger skulking away from Daddy as Daddy sounds the alarm. As Daddy sounds the alarm, his big flat tail and surprisingly large testicles are featured. Other animals spot the badger]
Beavers, being Republicans, know that there is no room in any pond for those who will not work, or who try to live by stealing the work of others. Weasels, rats, cockroaches and bushy-tailed squirrel Democrats are like this. [picture of familiar-looking (from that other book) squirrel family sneaking into a woodpecker hole, throwing the woodpecker eggs onto the ground below]
One day, Daddy got a letter in the mail from the town council. The letter said that some residents of the pond felt threatened by the tail-slapping. There was more too, but it was written in a style which is not used in this pond, and was hard to read. Daddy was pretty puzzled by this, and went to ask his friend Mister Bear what it could mean. [picture of Daddy scratching head while bear puts on spectacles, gripping letter in great big paw. fishbones in background, homeless woodpecker picking over for scraps]
“Well, Chuck, it says here that the town council got some complaints about your tail-slapping. Said it scared somebody. Says you can’t do it anymore. Also says you never got an environmental impact statement completed before you started chopping down trees, and that the fish around here are–hey, that’s not right! [pic: bear getting red in the face, starting to holler as he reads this to Daddy, who looks gut-punched]
“How can they say that?” asked Daddy. “This pond is what sustains all of us alive here. It protects us from predators. You know what I mean, Isaac. It also gives the fish a place to live, it gives you fish to eat, it keeps the water level high enough to sustain a great crop of berries every year… I don’t get it. And smacking my tail on the pond is the only thing that keeps that badger family from killing us all! Well, maybe not you, bear, but most of us.” [pic of Daddy getting cross, and starting to holler himself]
“Hey, looky here,” said the bear, “The original complaint came from that squirrel family in Woody’s old house. Ah, now I recognize this strange style of writing–it’s liberal double-talk!”
“What? Those idiots? All they have done is throw the woodpecker out of his house and use it to stash their stolen nuts so they won’t have to work over the winter!”
“Well, that’s not all they do up there, Chuck. I get by there about twice a day, and there’s always some kind of odd-smelling smoke wafting out of the woodpecker hole. I think there’s about thirty of them living in there. I have seen more than twenty go in, one right after the other, with none coming out. Woody and his family are staying at my place until they can get a new place.”
Republicans, you see, believe that communities of individuals will take care of each other
“Well, Isaac,” said Daddy Beaver, “Why don’t we go put this to rights. This so-called town council ought to keep its business in its own town, and I’m certainly not taking directions from these ‘pecker tossers!”
So Mister Bear and Daddy Beaver went to the squirrels’ house in what used to be the woodpecker’s tree. They had to pick their way past piles of garbage and the sad spattered remains of woodpecker eggs sacrificed for the convenience of Democrats. [picture of dead chicks among eggshells, and a sign in bright pink letters that says A.N.S.C.H.L.U.S.S.–ACT NOW to SUPPORT COMMUNISTS and HELP LESBIANS UNDERMINE SOCIAL STANDARDS.
Daddy shouted up at the useless liberal squirrels. “Hey, you, come out where we can talk to you! What’s the idea firing off letters to some far away council about what goes on in our pond? Why couldn’t you talk to me about my dam and the pond we all share?”
But there was no answer from the hippie commune in the sky. Mister Bear reached back and withdrew a long black steel and wood thing which he proudly announced was called a shotgun. “It’s a Mossberg,” said Mister Bear with a wide grin, “and it’s one sure way to get their attention.” [pic: bear with shotgun and wide grin, Daddy looks on, startled]
Before Daddy could say anything, Mister Bear swung the huge gun right up to his shoulder and cheek, and the calm of the woods was shattered by a resounding CLICK! “Shit!”, said the bear, in the woods. The gun had not fired for some reason.
But no sooner had the sound of the hammerclick died away than the whole squirrel “family”, all forty-seven of them, came streaming out of the woodpecker hole, and ran wild-eyed along the branches and up and down the trunk of the tree while chattering excitedly and crapping themselves.
“H-h-hey m-m-man!” exclaimed a particularly hairy squirrel with a bad stutter, as he shook the crap from a hind claw. “Are you trying to k-k-kill us all, man? What’s the deal? I mean, are you like, tr-tr-trying to kill everybody? Th-th-that’s not c-c-cool, man.”
One of the female squirrels called to him, “Hey, Neil, don’t bother talking to those thugs. See that shotgun? Those claws, those teeth, the frightening flat tail on the little one? They’re not Democrats, they don’t have any brains, they oppress and murder the fish, they rape the land of the berries, and they even have the homeless families picking through their garbage to support their lifestyles!”
Neil a decent but dim character. Harriet not really a squirrel, but a shrew, and a commie! Gloria, her counterpart. “This is feminism? You’re not even female anymore!” SOpirWhorf. Lnguage controls ideas, and we will control the language. 1984. cute but deep debate which is unresolved–but what makes sense?
[bear produces a shotgun, but wonders about the legality of firing it] “If a bear shoots in the woods, would anybody hear it?”
Also something about peckers and beavers. And keeping bear arms. The right of a bear to keep arms? Republicans appreciate the value of, and know how to treat a beaver.
Conservative Thought. Apply Liberally
A Brief Index
- A Letter from a Terrorist–“Why I will not release your infidel daughter”
- Here, let me fix that for ya.
- A Letter to the Editor of the Lexington Herald-Leader
- “No Regrets” Cronkite says Abandon Iraq
- Syria Coming Apart in 3…2…1…
- New Strain of AIDS Blamed on Risky Behavior (Graphic)
- In Defense of the Death Penalty
- Blogs vs. Media Giants?
- Al Gore Steps In It.
- FoxNews Poll
And if you have trouble posting comments, see the first comment on this post for help!
In all of the hub-bub surrounding the immigration bill, we are overlooking some fundamentals, and in my opinion, chief among them is this: a guest worker program is an admission that America does not work. A guest worker program is a method of fixing a problem, or else it should not exist. And if the solution to a problem cannot be found without establishing a revolving door for second-class citizens, then we are saying that we cannot succeed as a nation of citizens–that the Constitutional system is so flawed that we must now either…
[The Right Way]
My grandfather on my father’s side came to America in 1929, and he came to stay. He became a citizen, found good work, started a family, and worked like a dog to repair ships during the war. My great-great-great grandfather on my mother’s side came to America in the 1700s, and established a namesake family which had great success in architecture, including the design of Manhattan’s Central Park and most of the old city of St Louis, Missouri. These were successful immigrants, and when they arrived, they did so legally, they sought and obtained citizenship, and they stayed for the long haul.
That is the American system. You come here to stay, you pledge your allegiance, you become fully vested and invested in the success of the nation, and Voila! You are as American as anybody else.
We believe that America works that way because we believe that America works, and if you need to come to America to survive, then you need to come to America to stay.
[Bad For Workers]
A guest worker program is a Marxist wet dream. I cannot imagine a more clear way for the government of the United States to establish a class-struggle system. For a hundred years, the reality-challenged Marxists have been telling us that America is an oppressive system which sustains itself only through exploiting the poor and powerless. Well, what else could we possibly say about a “guest worker” program? You come to our country, you pick the lettuce, mow the lawn, wipe the baby’s bottom, and then you go home, because this is not your country.
[Bad For America]
This is the story of how I changed from MacOS X and Windows XP and Windows 98SE, all in use simultaneously, to a completely Ubuntu Linux home office. I’ll add details and angles as time goes by, and in case any questions should roll in (hint, hint!), so things may change.
First, Ubuntu is the name of a distribution of Linux. Linux is a free operating system, and Ubuntu is a fantastically easy-to-use version of that. Please go to the Ubuntu website and check it out. Over there, you will find a touchy-feely Kumbaya corporate philosophy and the most polished, easiest-to-use, customer-centered, stable, flexible, usable, and free operating system.
I am not making any money from this, but I have seen the light, and I will sing the praises of this operating system for the foreseeable future. I am not advertising; I am Evangelizing, and this is a phrase which has not been popular in computer circles since the early days of the Macintosh.
I still love the Mac OS, and I think I will buy a copy of MacOS X when revision 5 comes out, because it is supposed to be POSIX-compliant, which basically means that it will get along with my Ubuntu.
Listen. I was very impressed with Windows XP. I was one of the people who loved Microsoft Windows 3.11, which sat upon MS-DOS 6.22. I suffered along with Windows 95, which was a pathetic dog
Welcome to Kabul
Kabul is an ancient city that Alexander the Great passed through in 330 B.C. while enroute to India. The largest city in Afghanistan, it had a population of 435,202 in 1969. Three major mountains push through the city in various directions, and the Kabul river cuts the city in half. Like other Central Asian cities, Kabul’s center is composed of ancient adobe buildings set in a rabbit-warren of narrow streets and narrower passages. This tight, teeming bazaar is divided into separate sections where large groups of specialists live in an Eastern version of the medieval guild. Leather workers, jewelers, brass workers, and carpet merchants all have their own time-honored section of the bazaar for production and sales. Individual artisans and factories also produce items for sale in the town bazaars and for export. In 1979, the government officials normally lived in the “new city” where the ministries, foreign embassies, hotels, restaurants and cafes are located. The “new city” is generally north and southwest of the center. The “microrayon” is a region in the northeast of the city consisting of Soviet-style prefabricated buildings that were produced in a Soviet-constructed factory. At the time of the invasion, these multi-storied concrete buildings pierced the skyline, and new restaurants, stores, supermarkets and garages catered to the foreign colony and the growing Afghan middle class. The city was electrified, although power was unstable and problematic. Running water was not potable, although the Japanese were constructing such a system for Kabul. Modern plumbing was confined to the new sections of the city. By regional standards, Kabul was a liberal and open city where women in cosmopolitan mini-skirts contrasted with those completely covered and veiled, and discotheques blared Western and Eastern music into the early hours.
On the eve of the Soviet invasion, it was winter in Afghanistan, and the snow was belt-deep in parts of the capital. Far to the north, at 0700 on 25 December 1979, two Soviet pontoon bridge regiments began guiding their floating bridges into position on the Amu Darya River in the vicinity of Termez, a Soviet city on the Afghan border. Meanwhile, the 40th Army commander, General Lieutenant Yuri Vladimirovich Tukharinov, met with the Chief of Operations of the DRA General Staff, General Baba Jan, in Kunduz, Afghanistan to coordinate actions in the deployment area.
By noon, the Soviet forces had received their orders signed by the Soviet Minister of Defense, Marshal of the Soviet Union Dmitri Fedorovich Ustinov. These orders directed that the 40th Army and Soviet Air Force planes would begin crossing the borders of the DRA at 1500 (Moscow time) on 25 December. The Soviet forces began their incursion precisely at the established time. The scouts and air-assault battalion of Captain L. V. Khabarov were the first to cross. They were tasked with seizing the Salang pass, a crucial choke point on the road to Kabul (twelve Soviet scouts would die in ambush at the pass). The remainder of the 108th Motorized Rifle Division followed the troops across the pontoon bridges.
Simultaneously, Soviet Military Transport Aviation aircraft crossed the border carrying elements of the 103rd Airborne Division (commanded by General Major I. F. Ryabchenko) and the 345th Separate Parachute Regiment to airfields in the capital and nearby Bagram. It took a total of 343 flights and 47 hours to transport the paratroopers and their vehicles and gear. The first aircraft touched down at 1615 on 25 December and the last touched down at 1430 on the 27th. General Colonel I. D. Gaydaenko directed the military air transport operation. The effort did not occur without casualties. At 1933 on the 25th, an IL-76 piloted by Captain V.V. Golovchin crashed into a mountain and burned during its approach landing. All thirty-seven paratroopers and seven crew members were killed.
On the 25th, the chief Soviet advisers to the Afghan military met in Kabul. They were ordered to prevent any Afghan units, which were opposed to the Soviet presence, from approaching Kabul. Those military advisers and technicians who worked with the DRA air defense forces were directed to prevent actions against the air movement of the paratroopers by taking control of all the air defense systems and their ammunition storage bunkers. The advisers temporarily disabled some air defense systems by removing the sights or physically locking them. Consequently, the Soviet air armada flew into Afghanistan unopposed.
People have asked if the unemployment figures released by the administration are on the level or if there is some trick. The answer is both. We all know that the unemployment rate is calculated from a remarkably elastic base figure, the workforce, which for some reason excludes people who are “discouraged”. Yeah, I get it, but it makes for a shifting base, which makes the numbers suspect.